Imagine you’ and your friends are a bunch of aliens with the most acute hearing in the universe, so sensitive that even a dropped pin a mile away would send you sprinting at full speed to pummel whatever made that noise. But wait! You’re also a lumbering, clumsy, noise-making mess yourself, and somehow you’re blissfully unaware of your own racket (not yours or those of your friends). Welcome to A Quiet Place: Day One movie, where the alien logic is so thin, it makes Swiss cheese look like reinforced steel.
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Let’s dive right into the first head-scratcher: these alien creatures are apparently sound-sensing murderous, treacherous terminators. They’re on Earth to hunt anything that dares make a noise louder than a sneeze. But here’s where things get comically weird: they only seem to have a vendetta against human sounds! These monsters run around crashing into everything like toddlers high on sugar, screaming like they’re auditioning for a death metal band, yet they never once pause to think, “Hey, that’s a noise! Maybe I should attack my friends making all that racket!” It’s like having a state-of-the-art security system that only activates when a human breaks in, but not when your dog starts a party with the neighbor’s cat.
Alien Screams: The World’s Worst Group Chat
Now, let’s talk about their communication skills—or lack thereof. These creatures yell at each other in what can only be described as the alien equivalent of a really loud and obnoxious WhatsApp group chat.
You’d think that if their whole deal is attacking sounds, one alien’s scream would be the universal sign for “charge at this sound.” But nope! When they scream, it’s like, “Oh, that’s Steve over there. He’s cool. Let’s not rip him apart.” The aliens conveniently ignore their own kind’s noise, which either means they have some sort of alien friend-or-foe recognition software built in, or they’re just the laziest hunters in the universe. Either way, it’s selective hearing at its finest!
Patsy: The Friend We All Have Who Won’t Leave Until the Credits Roll
And now, let’s talk about Patsy. Poor, sweet Patsy, the character in this mess of a plot, who makes the baffling decision not to leave with Erick when he hops onto the boat. Erick, clearly the smart one, sees the chaos, hears the alien screams, and thinks, “Yep, boat time!”
Meanwhile, Patsy is that friend who refuses to leave the party until the police show up. Erick’s out there swimming to safety, and Patsy is still hanging around like she’s waiting for a better Uber surge price. Maybe she’s just really attached to the chaos, or perhaps he’s holding out for a post-apocalyptic snack bar to open. Who knows? Patsy’s choice to stay behind is the equivalent of sticking around after a fire alarm because you’ve got half a latte left. Priorities, right?
A Quiet Place, But with a Loud Logic Alarm
In conclusion, A Quiet Place: Day One asks us to suspend disbelief to astronomical levels. We’re supposed to believe that alien death machines can tell the difference between human noises and their own clumsy antics, and that characters will make baffling decisions like Patsy’s choice to stay behind in the thick of danger.
It’s a fun ride, sure, but if you’re looking for airtight logic, you’re better off hiding under the covers with earplugs in—just in case those aliens are real and have finally figured out how to attack their own noise.
